


homesick

by Robin_in_a_hoodie



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast), The Infinite Noise - Lauren Shippen
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, let adam be a little horney, some refrences to sex but nothing too explicite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23205151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin_in_a_hoodie/pseuds/Robin_in_a_hoodie
Summary: Adam is homesick and depressed, so he makes a phone call
Relationships: Adam Hayes/Caleb Michaels
Comments: 1
Kudos: 75





	homesick

Adam barely notices how dark the room around him is getting. He’s been in bed all day, not even checking his phone, only now dragging himself to the bathroom.  
Good ol’ depression, baby! he’d laugh at the thought if he could, but even stupid jokes don’t feel like they could to anything. It’s like he knows it should be funny, and it’s not not-funny, but he just doesn’t… Care?   
Back from the bathroom, he manages to not plop into bed again. He thinks about changing his clothes, become presentable, look like a real person, maybe that could help, but before he’s done considering that option he’s sitting at his desk, looking at the unorganized mess before him and wondering why he’s even trying. Why even give a shit anymore. There’s nothing he needs to do, so why does it matter? What’s the harm in staying in bed the entire day? It’s a free day, he might as well.   
He grabs his planner, a black leather bound notebook with לך לך in beautiful gold on the front and opens the first page without thinking. His dad’s messy handwriting is there, and he reads it and knows every word by heart at this point. It’s about Abraham leaving his home and how he can always come back, how looking back is important, about how he loves him and is proud…   
Adam’s glasses got dirty somewhere down the line, or, rather, full of tears.   
It’s a friday. His dad would make shabbat dinner, him mom would help him do the dishes, they might even try baking a challa together. He and his mom would watch a stupid movie after dinner and get worked up about how shitty it is, and his dad would probably fall asleep in his armchair in the corner of the room, so his mom and he would keep on quietly making fun of the movie they’re watching.   
He misses home. He didn’t think he would, but there he was, at his desk in his barely lit room, crying his eyes out, wanting his mom and dad here. He can’t call them like this, they’ll worry if they hear him cry and that’s not what he wants.   
After he can breath again but before he can think, he’s calling Caleb. He almost hangs up three seconds in, but then his boyfriend’s voice comes, and he’s choking on his tears all over again.   
“Hi babe,” he can almost hear the smile on Caleb’s voice and he can’t cope with the guilt. He shouldn’t have called. He shouldn’t have called and ruined his boyfriend's night.   
He tries taking a breath and talking, but before he gets a tiny hi out his system Caleb already hears his stupid shaky breath.   
“Babe? Are you ok?”   
No, I’m literally the worst, I ruined your night. “I’m fine.”  
“You don’t sound fine…”   
“I’m sorry, I should go-”   
“Wait! Adam, please, are you ok? Like, are you safe? Should I come over?”   
I don’t deserve you. “You’re in Boston.”   
“I have a car.” He means it, Adam can hear he does.   
“No, no, I’m good, really.” He sniffles. “I just… I miss you a little.”   
“I miss you too.” Adam always wonders how Caleb makes his voice sound so genuine. How do you just put a feeling in your voice like that?   
“Are you doing anything?”   
“Just catching up on some homework, but I should take a break anyway.”   
“Homework on friday night?” His laugh is a little bubbly, that weird watery laugh you have after crying, he’s suddenly conscious of it.   
“Yeah dude, I’m so popular here.”   
Adam can’t help laughing now, and neither can Caleb.   
“Hi, you’re popular with me,” Adam says, softly, voice shaking just a little. He’s still so so empty and full of longing, and he’d die for a hug, but something feels brighter now, silent tears rolling down his face but he’s smiling at his boyfriend’s vice still.   
“That’s the only popularity I need.”   
He loves Caleb. He just does. He loves Caleb and it’s pulling him through everything else. He can’t drown when he loves like this.   
“Hi, Caleb?”   
“Yeah?”   
“Thanks for picking up.”   
“I can’t not pick up, I always want to hear you.”   
“Still. I love you.”   
“I love you too, you dork.”   
“Meathead.”  
“Meathead who you love.”  
“Oh, very true.”   
“I know.”   
Adam looks at the little cactus his mom got him, it has this cool black and white mug for a pot. “You were wrong about the cactus, by the way. It’s thriving.”   
“Huh, well. Good job.”   
“yeah… I mean, It’s just a cactus, so…”   
“I dunnu, I killed a cactus in the past.”  
“Shit, really?”   
“Yeah, called him cecil, I think I gave him way too much water.”  
“May he rest in peace.”   
“Amen.”  
“Say, do you wanna tell me what you’re studying?”   
“Uh… So you remember Pavlov, right? so there a follow up thing…”   
Adam smiled silently. He listened to Caleb but he barely registered any of it, too focused on the soft warm feeling in his chest to use his brain. He couldn’t imagine not loving Caleb, no matter how much his brain insisted on trying, this feeling was too strong. He could see Caleb’s green eyes looking over his papers, how he was going over the compartments of his brain for just the right word, how he probably looks at everything and pays attention to nothing he sees… “Hi,” he says at some point, and Caleb stops rambling.   
“Yeah?”  
“I love you.”   
“That a very good conclusion.”   
“Is it?”   
“Totally. Also, as a follow up to that, I love you too. So much.”   
“Nerd.”  
“Sure, I’m the nerd. Sure.”   
“I don’t see why we can’t both be nerds.”   
“Good point.”   
“Oh, I’m full of good points, wanna find them?”   
“Omg, you fucking dork.”   
“Fucking dork, huh? That’s what you wanna do?”   
“Shut up!” he could hear Caleb trying so hard not to laugh, and he could practically see him blushing like crazy in his head.   
“Make me.”   
“Oh my god…”   
“Oh, no, I’m not a god, really, but if that’s what you’re into…”   
“ADAM!!!”   
“Fine, fine, I get it, you’re busy, you can’t come over and fuck your boyfriend, I get that.”   
“God, I wish I could. not even for that, just to like, hug you and stuff.”   
“Yeah... “   
“I’ll still see you next week, right?”   
“Oh shit, right! I forgot about that…”   
“Jee, thanks babe.”   
“love you.”  
“Love you too, dork.”  
“Meathead.”  
“But i need to finish my homework…”   
“It’s cool, good luck.”  
“Thanks.”  
“And drink some water.”  
“you too.”   
Adam loves this guy so much. “I will.”   
“Ok, love you, bye.”  
Adam put his phone away and started cleaning his desk, just a little. Just putting a few things in place. It didn’t make a big change, but it's a change, and maybe that was enough for now.


End file.
